This can be a challenging topic and there are no right or wrong answers. We cannot control the reactions of others and so a well-planned disclosure can go far better than you expected, but responses may also be upsetting.

Think through who you would like to tell. It’s important to think about this carefully as sometimes people forget that if they tell one person, that person may tell others… For example, you may wish to tell only certain family members but not others, but how will that practically work as family members are likely to talk to each other? Even if those informed agree not to share the information, this is unlikely to work if there is a large family gathering such as a wedding or Christmas.

It is also helpful to think about the way information is shared and what this means to different generations. For example, teens are far more likely to think it is acceptable to share such news via social media, but for older family members this may seem extremely insensitive.

Free2B worked with a family whose child posted a disclosure statement and updated their gender on Facebook. Whilst the parents were supportive of their child’s gender identity, they were very upset by the way their child shared their news.

If you come out to friends and / or family and it doesn’t go as you had hoped…try to focus on things that help you feel positive. Why not head over to our wellbeing page or our gender affirming techniques page for a positive boost.