gender affirming techniques
Take at look at the sections below for ideas on ways to positively affirm your identity.
It can help to get inspiration from the trans community. There are lots of positive messages available, BUT there is also a lot of negativity online so be careful when you’re looking for inspiration.
Tik Tok can be problematic as you can’t tell until you’ve watched a clip, if it’s going to be hateful. And unfortunately hateful people want to be heard! so for example they may use trans affirming titles to trick people into watching.
YouTube can be a safer place to explore and you can check the comments before viewing. See the YouTube section below for some trans affirming YouTubers suggested by our members.
Remember there are no rules – whatever works for you is great! And if you have any tips that aren’t listed, please let us know so we can add them to the guide.
Don’t get bogged down by society’s binary views! 
As a Pakistani trans masc person going to a Pakistani wedding, I learned different ways of getting myself mentally ready to attend. With the expectation to look like a girl, I realised that if I create a female drag persona, I wouldn’t feel the dysphoria of dressing as a woman, but rather would be able to enjoy the festivities happily in drag.
This method was brilliant as it made me realise that clothes do not change your gender identity. Yes they can form a gender presentation that is most comfortable, but wearing a dress as a trans masc person did not change my trans masc identity. Being in drag allowed me to take part in the parties, and the traditional Pakistani wedding rituals, as well as mingle with family in a safe and happy way.
If you are not out, explore subtle ways to affirm your identity without placing yourself at risk.
Take a look through the suggestions and find something that may work for you / ensuring that you remain safe. If you are not sure please speak to Free2B staff to talk through ideas and ensure you keep yourself safe.
Clothes / jewellery / appearance
Gender affirming underwear (through think about if this may be a problem when being washed at home). E.g. Step One offer “women’s” underwear that include shorts so trans boys / non-binary masc young people who are not out at home may be able to ask their parents to purchase these under the assumption they are “women’s” underwear: https://uk.stepone.life/pages/womens-underwear
Socks – in colours that represent your identity.
Pride laces – this could be presented as an act of allyship.
Pride lanyards – this could be presented as an act of allyship.
Consider whether you can safely make subtle changes to your hairstyle.
Paint your fingernails / toe nails.
Badges / keyrings / bags etc.
Gendered wristwatch.
Wearing a hair scrunchy on your wrist.
Phones:
Using a password protected notepad on your phone to record queer affirmations.
Affirming background image (e.g colours that represent your identity).
Affirming phone case / or a small sticker on the case.
Create your own affirming avatar.
WhatsApp – affirming group names (e.g. “girls chat”).
WhatsApp – affirming messages which you can then delete.
Other ideas:
Post-it or small note with your chosen name / pronouns on – you could keep this in your pocket at school and throw it out at the end of the day.
Pride art / create your own identity flag.
Affirmation card in your bus pass holder / wallet / purse.
Listen to affirming music.
Mug / pencil case / pen / pencil etc in affirming colours.
Draw / paint / create gender affirming characters.
These are just a few affirming YouTubers suggested by our members:
Tips for people pre hormones – focus is on pre T but advice is helpful for anyone awaiting hormones
Trans 101 – UppercaseCHASE playlist
How to love yourself as a transwomen – Maya
Loving yourself – non binary trans perspective Mavmagic
Try different styles of clothes to find what works for you. It doesn’t matter how clothes have been labelled – it’s about what works for your body type. So if you are AFAB and identify as trans masc, you may find ‘men’s’ clothes are too large and actually the ‘women’s’ department might be better for you.
If you have trusted friends or family members – consider taking someone with you when shopping, for support.
Consider trying charity shops to access clothes at low cost.
Remember there are no rules – find what works for you!
Below are some suggestions for online stores that our members have used:
For large size women’s shoes / clothes – Amazon is a good source to search
Both & Apparel – non binary / gender non conforming
Facial hair – shaving
Trans fem:
Trans masc:
Tips on shaving for people on T – written info
Wigs
Wigs can be a great way to achieve a new hair style without having to wait for natural hair growth / or as a temporary option if you can not change your natural hair (for example because of cultural or religious restrictions). ‘Real hair’ wigs can be very expensive but there are synthetic options available online that can be more affordable.
Hair growth
Minoxidil is mentioned on some trans sites to promote facial hair growth. Please be aware it is only approved as a treatment for baldness to be used on the scalp. If you intend to use it on your face, it is strongly recommended that you speak to your GP first.
Hair styles
Remember there are no rules – explore what styles work for you and make you feel good and don’t worry about society’s limiting binary expectations!
Trans friendly hairdressers that members have used:
Barber Streisand – Central London based LGBTQ+ friendly barbers
Rooibos London – East London based All genders and no genders barbers
Open Barbers – pay what you can afford East London based trans friendly hair salon
Barberette – East London based Gender Neutral Hair Salon
Below are some suggestion from Trans hairdresser Erik Pascarelli, on hair styles that can help affirm gender whilst appeasing parents / family if they are not supportive.
Some helpful tips from Erik:
For trans masc people the main thing I’ve learned is to stop washing one’s hair
I sometimes get misgendered when my long hair is super clean but as soon as there’s a bit of grease and it’s just kind of pushed back or tucked behind the ears I get read as masculine 100% of the time.
The main thing is that hairdressers are taught that ‘masculine’ hair is cut Square, whereas ‘feminine’ hair is cut Round. So if you say to your hairstylist to cut it more square or cut it more round then that should also hopefully help the hairdresser know what you mean. Click here for more information on Square and Round cuts.
Make-up can be a great way to create different looks to help express your gender identity…whether you want to use make-up to create a feminine look, or to create a masc look with the appearance of facial hair, or to simply have fun and create your own unique look!
It can be a bit overwhelming because there are so many products available and it can be difficult to know what they are all for and how to use each product. A lot of make-up brands are also geared to white skin which can make things extra tricky for people with black or brown skin. The brand MAC are very inclusive with their products advertised for “all ages, all races and all genders.”
Most shops that sell make-up have ‘tester’ items so you can try things out before buying a product. If you feel embarrassed doing this, it can help to take a trusted friend or family member.
We have created an introductory video to show you some basic make-up products. We have also provided a factsheet explaining the products used in the video and you can download the transcript.
The use of toiletries can be a positive and a relatively cheap way to affirm your gender. For example trans masc people may choose to wear deodorant “designed for men” and likewise trans fem people may choose a feminine perfume.
Why not try out deodorants, aftershave (you don’t need to shave to use aftershave!) shower gels, perfumes and so on. Remember there are no rules! if you like the smell of a particular product and it makes you feel good – don’t worry if its advertised for a particular gender.
Binders are a bit like a sports bra or vest – designed to flatten the chest for AFAB people seeking a masc appearance.
WARNING! There is very limited medical information about the possible long-term side effects of binding. We urge you to speak to your parent(s) and / or GP to get support in understanding the available information, before you consider binding.
Free2B has a TryB4UBuy scheme so our members can try on binders (with their parent’s support if under 18) to find the right size before buying one.
Reducing risks when binding:
Click here to see guidance from Patient.info site
*Use talc to avoid skin chafing
*Stay hydrated – wearing a binder can be hot
*Never wear for longer than 6-8 hours at a time
*Listen to your body & if you start to experience pain take a break
*Never wear your binder to bed – it can restrict your breathing & cause injury
*Don’t wear your binder for sports – wear a sports bra & baggy clothing instead
*Do regular stretching and breathing exercises when not wearing your binder
*If you have a pre-existing medical condition which may be affected by binding you MUST seek a doctor’s advice before binding (e.g. asthma, skin
allergies etc)
*YouTube from Jammi Dodger
Binder Care
*Keep your binder clean and hand wash only
*Do not use a tumble dryer to dry your binder
*Air drying is best as even radiator heat can damage the elasticity of your binder
*Wash your binder regularly as bacteria can build up and cause skin irritation.
Useful links – Please note they not part of Free2B and therefore we cannot comment on the quality of their products. Please do your research! Trust Pilot is a good place to check people’s reviews: https://uk.trustpilot.com/
https://spectrumoutfitters.co.uk/
https://uktransshop.co.uk/collections/binders
https://genderswap.org/gc2b-x-gender-swap – free binder scheme
https://safe2trans.org/ – free binder scheme
https://pointofpride.org/chest-binder-donations/ – binder donations
If your school state that you can not wear your binder at school, this may be in breach of the Equality Act 2010.
We can support our Free2B members to speak to their school and can provide a template letter developed by Liberty which sets out the legal implications.
Please get in touch for further information: [email protected]
If you can not afford a binder or you are unable to purchase a binder, there are some other options.
Click here to access a WikiHow article on 5 ways to safely bind without a binder.
Trans tape
Trans tape is an alternative to binding. We strongly recommend that you do your research as using tape incorrectly or using a low quality tape can result in serious damage to your skin.
Our trans wellbeing group suggested this helpful guide prior to using tape. It includes details on: how to carry out a small skin test before using the tape on a larger area to ensure you don’t have any reactions to it; skin preparation; cutting the tape and application; and removal using baby oil to break down the adhesive. If you decide to try trans tape, please ensure you read the guide thoroughly and ensure you also listen to your body.
The guide says to soak the tape for 1-3 minutes in oil before removing – but I found it difficult to remove, so I now soak it for much, much longer which works well for me and I haven’t had any issues since.
These can be used by trans fem people wanting to create a body shape with breasts.
Breast forms are silicone breasts which can be placed in a bra cup or you can purchase bras with special pockets to hold the forms more securely.
Any soft filler item (such as socks, tissue, tights etc) can also be used to pad out a bra though it is less likely to create a good shape.
Choosing the right bra size can be confusing – click here to access a brief guide.
Free2B is in the process of setting up a Try B4U scheme for our members to try on bras and fillers…watch this space!
Tucking is defined as ways a person can hide the penis and testes, such as moving the penis and scrotum between the buttocks.
There is also body-shaping underwear that can help people achieve a smooth look. Some of our members have used this body shaper from Uniqlo.
Packers are used by trans masc people to fill out the crotch area.
Packers are a prosthetic penis and it is used to fill out the crotch area in trousers.
Other items can be used to fill out the crotch area such as a pair of socks.
Click here to access a detailed guide on packing from Wikihow
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